


How Not to Weather the Storm

by brittanafan



Series: The How Not to Series [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Car Sex, F/F, Fluff, Girl!Peen, Romance, sap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-14
Updated: 2012-04-14
Packaged: 2017-11-03 15:52:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/383194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brittanafan/pseuds/brittanafan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brittany and Santana are trapped in their car on the side of the road in the middle of a snow storm. How will they survive? How will they stay warm? </p><p>Ninth in my "How Not to" brittana girl!peen series (gp!san). Contains smut.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Not to Weather the Storm

Santana couldn't believe that they were in this situation. What the _hell_ had she been thinking, pandering to Brittany's insane desire to drive all the way to Cincinnati in the middle of a fucking _blizzard_?! And all for what? To see a stupid show about singing and dancing _cats_!? "I can't believe we're going to die because you just _had_ to see a bunch of grown ass men prancing around in spandex body suits." She moaned in frustration as she slammed her palms on the steering wheel of her parent's powder blue Prius. The car that she hadn't actually asked for permission to borrow, and was now regretting that decision big time. If she had told her dad of her and Brittany's plans, he would _never_ have let them out of the house in such inclement, let alone on the Interstate in the middle of Bumfuck Egypt, Ohio.

Brittany was trying to remain optimistic, pointing out that they were close enough to Big Butter Jesus that if they prayed for the snow to stop, he would probably be able to hear them. "Oh, and what? He'll just  _magically_ send us a tow-truck?" The latina had shot back, pointing out the window at the nearly four foot high snow drifts that were currently surrounding their car. She knew that they must have closed the highway at some point, since other than a few asshole big rigs, they hadn't seen any other dumb-ass motorists attempting to traverse that particular stretch of I-75 in over an hour. "Besides, Touchdown Jesus burned down, like, two years ago..." It was true: the giant, yellow, half statue of Jesus that made the tiny town of Monroe, Ohio actually worth visiting, had since gone up in flames after being struck by lightning. At the time, Santana had thought it was kind of ironic seeing as it had been built practically in a lake.

The two had remained silent for the next ten or so minutes, until Santana couldn't stand the sound of Brittany's sniffling any longer and had apologized to the girl. Brittany had forgiven her immediately, and was now trying to pass the time by humming her own rendition of "The Jellicle Ball", complete with her own set of dance moves. At least, the ones she could perform in the incredibly confined space that was the passengers seat of her girlfriends family's tiny blue car. If Santana wasn't already preoccupied with watching the little red indicator on the dashboard slowly drop towards the big "E", she would have probably been amused the girl's impromptu performance. As it were, she was busy trying to figure out what they were going to do when they ran out of gas, and subsequently, lost their only source of heat. "We really  _are_ going to die." She whispered to herself as she pulled out her cell phone and checked once again for a signal. "Fuuuuuck..."

Brittany wasn't completely oblivious to the fact that their situation was quickly growing serious, she just wasn't as good at solving problems as Santana was. And if she wasn't going to be able to come up with a solution, other than praying to a non-existent statue, then she wasn't going to waste her time and energy worrying. Besides, it's not like they could actually  _die_ from spending the night in a car, blizzard or no blizzard. As long as they were warm, and rationed her gatorade and chex mix properly, then they would be fine until the storm passed, right?

"Oh, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck fuck, fuuuuck! Fuck! Fuck! FUUCKK!!" Santana began to beat the steering wheel with her palms as the car began to stall; clear indication that it was about to die completely. "Oh this  _can't_ be happening." She whimpered in mounting terror and desperation as the vehicle suddenly stilled; silence as well as goosebumps immediately cascading up and down her now panicky body. "Brittany, this is  _not_ good." She looked over at the blonde; barely able to make out her features in the enveloping darkness. With the car out of gas, she didn't want to risk killing the battery as well, so turned the headlights off. It was stupid, because she knew that no one was going to be able to see them on the side of the road without the lights, but at the same time, recognized the fact that no one was currently out looking for them. If they could make it until the storm died down a little, and the highway was reopened,  _then_ she'd turn them back on, and hopefully flag down some help.

Forty-five minutes later, Santana was seriously re-thinking that decision. Without the heat from the car, the below freezing temperatures outside, in addition to the heavy winds found typically in snow-belts, had both girls shivering in their less than adequate winter clothing. "I'm  _so_ sorry, Santana." Brittany whispered through her clattering teeth, her gloveless hands balled in front of her mouth as she tried to breathe some warmth into them. The ambivalence that she'd been hiding behind earlier was gone. She knew that they were going to be in serious trouble if someone didn't rescue them soon. "I know I pushed you into saying yes... You don't even  _like_ 'Cats'." The blonde kept her eyes trained on her icy hands, afraid to look at her girlfriend and confirm her suspicion that the girl did, indeed, blame her for their predicament. "If I die first, it's okay if you eat me. I won't be mad, I promise." 

Santana had been trying to remain indifferent to the other girl; afraid that she would eventually end up unloading all of her anger on her if she tried to participate in conversation. At her most recent comment, however, she found herself unable to hold back a laugh. It was awkward and almost painful sounding, but then she supposed it  _did_ match the absurdity of the girl's ultimately altruistic offer. "I'm not going to  _eat_ you, Brit..." She turned towards the girl, wincing at the stiffness in her frozen joints. "Hollow you out and crawl inside your body for warmth,  _maybe_ ..." she had been trying for humor, but judging from the girl's somewhat shocked, though mostly confused expression, her lame literary reference had obviously gone over her head. "I really need to stop doing your book reports for you." She mused, shaking her head as the girl continued to stare blankly at her. "Don't worry about it." Reaching out, she cupped the girl's frozen cheek, giving her what she hoped was a reassuring smile.

Brittany leaned into the girl's hand, greedy for the slight warmth it provided her otherwise chilled skin. "Give me your other hand." She motioned for the girl to place it on her opposite cheek, closing her eyes when she had done so. "Mmmm... you're so warm..." she murmured, pressing her own hands over the latina's in an effort to keep her from pulling them away. "I bet the rest of you is just as warm." It didn't take long for her words to register with the other girl, and despite her best efforts, she felt her hands quickly withdraw from her face. 

"Oh my god, Brittany! You're a  _genius_ !" Santana exclaimed, her mouth twisted into one of her more devilish grins. How had it  _not_ occurred to her to share her body heat with her girlfriend? They did it all the time at her house, mainly because her father refused to believe that his tiny wood burning stove located in the family room was enough to heat their entire two story house at night. Cuddling naked together under several layers of blankets was practically a tradition now whenever the girl slept over. "Get in the back," she instructed, moving her own seat forward so that they'd have more room, "and take off your clothes."

Not usually one to object to such a request, Brittany did as the girl asked, climbing awkwardly between the seats and collapsing onto her knees in the back. Fumbling with her zipper, the girl quickly realized that her frozen fingers weren't going to be much help in stripping off her layers. Pouting slightly, she focused instead on pulling her boots off, hoping Santana would be able to help her with the rest once she joined her in the back seat. The latina was currently debating once again whether she should turn on the cars headlights, noticing that the storm seemed to have died down a bit. Throwing caution, literally, to the wind, the girl sent a silent prayer to the remnants of Big Butter Jesus and clicked the lights on. "I hope I live to regret this." She muttered as she pushed herself out of her seat and climbed into the back.

Brittany had opted to keep her socks on as she waited somewhat patiently for Santana to help her out of first, her jacket, and then her sweatshirt. "Why are we getting naked?" She decided to ask once she was down to just her underclothes. Her skin had broken out in goosebumps somewhere between the disappearance of her hoodie and her long sleeve t-shirt, and she rubbed at the pimpled flesh with her equally as frozen hands while she waited for Santana to catch up. The latina was busy trying to undo the closure to her jeans, her less than cooperative fingers making the task nearly impossible. They couldn't stop now though, and she leant back, sucking in her gut as she dug at the button. After a few harrowing seconds, she managed to pop open her jeans, and motioned for Brittany to help her in pulling them off. "Oh no, San! Your penis is gone!"

"Wuhh?" Santana glanced down at her lap as she finished kicking off her pants, then looked up at her girlfriend, rolling her eyes. "Brit, we talked about this, remember? The cold makes it shrink a little..." She knew the girl was just teasing her, a fact that was soon confirmed by the playful grin the blonde was now giving her. "But on a more serious note, we need to stay warm. And the best way to do that is to share our body heat. It's like, in those survival shows, where two people get naked in the same sleeping bag after one stupidly falls into a river or some shit." She explained, already seeing the cogs turning in the other girl's head. "I know it's lame, but fuck it, I'm freezing and sex always warms me up."

Not wanting to waste any more time, Santana pushed off her boy shorts and shimmied out of her bra, not even attempting to undo the clasp and simply pulling it off over her head. She kept her socks on though, figuring she could justify the sexual faux-pas just this once. Brittany had opted to do the same, and the moment the otherwise completely naked girl laid down on the seat, Santana crawled on top of her and pressed their bodies together. "Ohhh christ, you're cold!" The smaller girl cried out, desperately trying to resist the urge to pull away from her. Reaching into the footwell, she found her knee length down jacket and pulled it over her like a blanket. "Fuck, Brittany,  _do_ something." She shuddered, the cold causing her words to slur slightly. She was trembling on top of the blonde, the weight of her body doing little to keep the other girl from trembling as well. "Fuck body heat. If we're going to die, I at least want to be inside of you when we do."

Brittany tried to smile at this, but her lips were quivering too much. "You're... so... roman... tic..." she stuttered, pulling her girlfriend into a desperately desired though incredibly awkward kiss. It was almost comical in a traumatic sort of way, how their lips practically vibrated off the others', making the task much more difficult than it should have been. The blonde couldn't hold back the laugh as her teeth banged against Santana's, the clumsiness reminding her of their first few make out sessions back when they were still getting to know each other's bodies. She knew the latina well enough now, and silently slipped her hand between their torsos, cupping the girl's flaccid cock in her palm. "Can you... even... get hard...?" She asked between each shuddery breath. She wasn't teasing the girl now, and genuinely didn't know if it was possible for her to become erect when it was this cold.

Santana hadn't actually given it any thought until that moment, not quite sure herself if it was even physically possible. Pushing her body down and against the blonde's hand for a few moments, she almost cried when she felt her cock starting to respond to the pressure and friction. "That's... it..." she coaxed, squishing her own hand between them, searching for the warmth of Brittany's sex. Finding it, she was pleasantly surprised at the amount of wetness that the girl had already produced. "Mmmm... baby..." She coated as much of her fingers as possible before seeking out her entrance. "Don't stop..." she made sure to instruct the girl, her cock almost fully hard at this point. 

Brittany hadn't planned on stopping, her hand set in its rhythm of pumping up and down her swelling flesh. It was painfully awkward though, the angle and their position in general. Her knees were turned to the side so that her legs could fit in the footwell, and her head was bent in such a way that she knew she was going to be hurting for it later. If there even  _was_ a later, she supposed. She was actually feeling slightly warmer now, and her shivering seemed to have almost stopped completely. Spurred on by this new development, she began to work her hand faster, wanting the girl inside of her as soon as possible. She vaguely remembered learning in health class that people stopped feeling extreme temperatures shortly before they died. "Fuck me... San..."

The smaller girl had also stopped shaking, and pulled upwards just enough that she could help direct her cock-head towards the girl's entrance. "Oh fuck Brit... you're so fucking warm..." she moaned as she slowly inched herself into her lover. "Mmmmmm..." Once she was fully inside, she let her body collapse downwards once more, her hands gripping at Brittany's shoulders before moving to cradle the girl's head. Leaning down, she pressed a chaste kiss to her girlfriend's lips. "I love you so much." She whispered, resting her head on her arm, her mouth hovering less than inch from the other girl's ear. It no longer mattered to her whether they were going to die or not; she was simply happy to spend what might be her last few minutes on this earth so close and intimately connected with her lover. "Whatever happens, I love you. I'll always love you." 

Brittany had given up on waiting for the girl to actually start fucking her, and was now simply holding her tightly, her arms wrapped around the girl's back beneath her overcoat, turned blanket. "I love you too." She replied, wishing she could be more eloquent with her words; hoping that the girl understood how much she meant them simply from her tone of voice. She wanted to apologize again for getting them into this situation, but knew that the other girl wouldn't want to hear it. Instead, she ended up laughing as she thought back to what she had promised her earlier. "See, I didn't have to actually  _die_ for you to use my insides for warmth." She smirked, even though she still didn't get the original joke behind the girl's earlier statement.

Santana snorted at this, shaking her head as she gently rocked her hips against Brittany's. As much as she enjoyed simply being inside of her lover, now that a few minutes had passed and they had yet to drop dead, she wanted to at least try for one last orgasm. Call her greedy, but if they really were at death's door, what better way to go than in the wake of the most incredible, mind blowing pleasure known to mankind.. "Does it feel good baby?" She asked, whimpering awkwardly at the exertion. Brittany had closed her eyes and was now pushing her hips upwards as best she could to meet her lover's downward thrusts. It wasn't fucking so much as it was grinding in place. Not that it really mattered, since it still felt absolutely amazing to both of them.

"Mmmm, keep going.... oh fuck... San...." Brittany hissed as the girl's pelvic bone pressed against her clit. She could definitely come like this, as long as the girl didn't stop moving above her. Luckily, Santana had no intentions of stopping, short of  _actually_ dropping dead. Grunting and groaning like an amateur porn star, the latina let all other thoughts leave her head except the desire to get both of them off. Despite the serious lack of proper stimulation, she found herself already teetering on the edge. Brittany was close as well, and ground her crotch as hard as she could against her lovers, her eyes flying open just as her orgasm overtook her. "Oh fuck! Oohh, fuck! Ooh, Ooh, Carlos!"

Santana had already started to tumble, her shock at the girl's words not enough to stop her from coming undone, emptying herself into her wide eyed and panting girlfriend. "Nnnnnnnnhhnnn... Brit... Fuck..." She groaned, desperately trying to gather her senses and her words. The warmth she had so urgently been seeking finally filling her completely as she allowed her body to fall limp on top of her girlfriend. "Did you... ugh, Brit... Did you just say my  _brother's_ name during sex?" She asked, already unable to comprehend the reasoning behind the girl's incredibly alarming mistake. No, she wasn't even going to  _go_ there. She wasn't going to  _let_ herself go there. Not when she had just shared what might have been her last orgasm with her best friend slash lover.

Brittany was still coming down from her own high, her body once more shaking and trembling as she struggled to catch her breath. She was well aware of what name she had just called out, but until she could regain her words, she was stuck simply staring over the latina's head at the window the girl's older brother was currently watching them through. She could tell from the boy's expression that he was well aware of what he had just witnessed, but thankfully he seemed more concerned with the fact that he had even found them to begin with. "You're brother... San...  _look_ ..." The girl raised a shaky hand, pointing to the window behind the girl. Only, before Santana could even turn her head, the door at their feet was abruptly yanked open. Both girls screamed as the wind and the snow it was carrying assaulted their still mostly naked and exposed bodies. "We're saved! We're not going to die!" Brittany practically cried as she hugged her lover, as well as the jacket above her, closer to her body.

"No, girl's, you're not going to die." Santana gasped at her brother's voice, still in too much shock to try and cover herself more, or to even pull out of the girl no one was supposed to know she was dating, let alone having sex with. "Actually, I'm pretty sure Papi's going to  _murder_ you." Carlos corrected, trying to keep the situation light despite the fact he had just witnessed something he definitely hadn't wanted, and clearly wasn't supposed to see. He would let their father deal with the girl when he got them home, safe and thawed. Spreading one of the large comforters he had taken from his truck over his sister, he helped the girl to wrap herself up in it so that she was not only decent, but also mostly protected from the cold. Once he had made sure that Brittany was bundled up in the second blanket, he carefully pulled his sister out of the car, carrying her in his arms towards his waiting, and very much heated vehicle.

It wasn't until Brittany was placed next to her on the large bench seat and the door was closed that Santana truly began to comprehend what had just happened. Her brother had saved them. He had  _found_ them, and saved them. "Oh god, he  _saw_ us, didn't he?" She asked the girl still shivering in her blanket next to her. Brittany could only nod before the older Lopez climbed into the front seat, slamming his own door shut behind him as he turned to look at them. "CJ, I'm  _so_ sor-"

The boy waved her off, focusing his attention on getting both girls buckled. "Save it. I'm just glad you guys are alright." He had been driving up and down I-75 for the past three hours searching for them, having gotten a frantic phone call from their dad earlier in the day about how his car was missing and his sister was not answering her cell phone. "It's a good thing you forgot your theatre tickets on the table at home or we'd have had no idea where to even start looking for you." Carlos rolled his eyes at the stunned expressions on both of the girl's faces.

Suddenly, Santana turned around and made as if she was about to strangle the blonde. "You left the tickets at home!? We almost  _died_ for a show we couldn't have even  _seen_ !" Brittany yelped, shielding herself with her arms from the girl's half hearted attack. Despite the blasting heat in the boy's truck, they were both still mostly frozen and incredibly exhausted, emotionally  _and_ physically. Giving up on her assault halfway through, the latina simply let herself collapse against the girl, too tired to care about any of that anymore. "If my dad doesn't actually murder me when we get home, you so owe me." She settled on, burying her face into the girl's neck as her brother finally pulled back onto the highway. The blizzard had definitely died down in the last twenty minutes, and trusting that her brother wouldn't accidentally drive them off the road again, Santana snuggled into the equally as sleepy blonde and closed her eyes, eventually drifting off into sleep. 


End file.
